Two weeks

Two weeks is the time period I give myself to evalute moods and see how I am doing with the depression. That is the time period the professional field want to hear about. It is a good bench mark, if enough depression symptoms are pervasive for longer then two weeks, the yes one has depression. So in seeing how I am doing, it is also two weeks that I look at. I have ups and downs there have been times that I wondered if I needed a higher dose of fluoxotine, but the two week measurement has helped me to know how to act.
I have been taking it since April 2008. So almost three years. Everytime I thought I was ready to go off, there were good reasons to not go off. A move, an opperation, pregnancy, winter starting, something. My husband, has helped me be reasonable in not trying it in the times when I will be naturally weekest. He has been my main counselor, since we moved from England. I haven't even had a regular doctor since moving from Malmö. When it was time to get my last perscription we both felt that I have been stable and life is stable that I could try cutting my dose in half. So when I met with a doctor. (New doctor again, because of the last move), he didn't know anything, but listened as I explained my history and why I felt it was a good time to start. So I got my half dose perscription, knowing I could call him if it wasn't working for me. two weeks. I haven't crossed the thresh hold. I will have about three or four bad days. but then its over. I could have those while on the full perscription as well.
It was almost time to renew my perscription but we were feeling that it was time to go off the fluoxotine completely. So I did. I didn't even meet with the doctor. My husband and I are monoriting things. The doctor will just agree with me anyway and I don't want to pay for a doctors visit just to have hims say ok.
So two weeks. It has been 1 1/2 weeks since I completely stopped taking it. How am I? OK. I feel like I am more susceptible to getting angry because of feeling overwhelmed with my children and their needs. But because of the cognotive behavioral counseling I recieved in England, I am much better at combating the negative thoughts that come as a result. And that stops the downward spiral into self/hate and hopelessness that I was engulfed in when I was diagnosed. So two weeks. That is what I watch. But also, my self statements. "Are they accurate?" "Are my statements to myself leading, or are they driving" Am I giving way to "the tyrrany of the SHOULDS" Do I forgive myself? And listen to Daniel.
This is my current battle.
Two weeks. I am determined to win.