Depending on which method they reckon with either yesterday or today Adam is 37 weeks in the womb. He is term. That means his heart and lungs should be well enough developed that delivery now is... well lets say I don't have to take it so easy.
The last month my mother-in-law has been here helping me. She has done so much for us. I worry that she is burning herself out as I sleep 10-12 hours and rest alot. But I was worried about how I was going to manage it all till the baby came. I had a lot of pain at intervalls and exhuastion and at times feeling overwhelmed.
I have a hard time rolling over in bed. It hurts. My lower abdomen and pelvic muscels ache. Sometimes it radiates down my legs. Getting up from bed is a chore, walking down the stairs to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night 1 then 2, then 3, 4 or 5 times is hard and slow. But if I want to get back to sleep I have to do it. Sometimes the contractions are pulsing pain in my lower back. These things have scared me that maybe the baby would come early.
Now that I don't have to worry about that, I want him to come tomorrow. Tonight Daniel's brother and his wife will be arrive. They are awesome and I was impressed to invite her to come and be there for the deliver. Daniel is my birth partner. We work well together. 4 natural deliveries, he takes care of me. That will stay. But she can be there and if needed assist in little ways. I talked with Daniel 1st before I invited her. To make sure he was ok with it and knew there was no way I wanted to replace him and his role. Then we presented it to her. They can't have kids. And like many who cant they long for children. I have seen and felt how hard that is for her. Some people wouldn't want to or maybe wouldn't be up to watching a birth for those same reasons, but I felt I should ask her. She wants to. Very much.
This became interesting in trying to plan when they come. There is no way to know when the baby will come and yet I feel it very important to try to make it possible for them to be here so she can come with to the hospital. This last little while I so just wanted to be done with the pregnancy. I am tired of all the discomfort, pain and not being up to even a short walk because of the increase in these that inevitably follows. My fear of early delivery increased with the increasing intensity.
During the discussion stages of when they should come, we talked of nearer the duedate and near to 37 weeks. They have jobs and responsibilities and can't come here for an indefinate time. So it was quite a puzzle. When they leaned towards a later time I didn't look forward to extended bed rest type life. When we discussed earlier dates I feared that baby wouldn't come before they had to go back. But then with all I was feeling in my body and the pelvic pressure especially I felt that it could easily be the earliest yet. Then they ask, when do you think the baby will come? Before their final decision was finally made of when they would come, I thought, this is too much. I don't know. To much stress. I want her to have the chance to be there. It was an impression from above to invite her. I pray it will bring her a healing that she hasn't been able to find and peace.... but goodness, I can't say when he is coming. If I could say that, most of the previous births would have been a different day or better yet week. (Except maybe Joseph but even he I may have tried to not have it on a Sunday. Rebekah's definately would have been later so we had made it to Hannas wedding. But God knew what was best and instead we missed the wedding and made it home for my mom's funeral which wouldn't have happened had she been later. And that was something that was emotioanlly more important for our family.) Always in thinking about it I think of what is most important. A safe healthy delivery for me and the baby; a spriritual experienc with Daniel there. Then the other things aren't so important. My feelings all go out in prayer. Every weekend after term I would say, ok now... Daniel can be here, but Heavenly Father you know best. Thy will be done.
Those are the same priorities for me now, with the addition that Sigrid can be there and it will be a
kind of spriritual healing for her aching heart. The impression was from God to invite her. But he might have had different intentions then her actual presence? Well I do my best and pray for his will.
Early this week they contemplated moving back their visit to get in just a little more work. I wanted to cry. I have told people to pray if it is right that we can have the baby this week. I am tired of bed and feeling useless and the up and down of worrying that the increased pain one day means an early birth or the more rested days mean the baby won't come till after they go home and I have a few more weeks to go. I am tired of seeing and thinking of things that I want to do or want done but not being able to do most of them. That may not change but I will be able to walk up and down the stairs with out holding my belly with one hand and the rail with the other as I snail pacedly descend. I want to go for a walk but after a round round the garden feel good to sit down.
I was so relieved when they decided to come tonight as planned. But then I imediately start worrying that nothing is happening yet. The reason we want it tomorrow or this weekend is so she can not only be there for the birth but enjoy some of the precious first days of the babys life. If he comes at the end of their stay she misses that in the press to get back home to work for their family economy. I think both parts are important. Whenever they get to adopt (which they are working hard towards) it will likely be a child no younger than 1 1/2 years. That how it ends up hear in Sweden. Those first days when the child is so new are precious. The spirit just came from heaven. Holding the newborn....
But again, it is all in the Lord's hands. I will trust his way. Sooner or later the blessings of his way are made known.
These last two days I have started to try to carefully build up a little of the strength I have lost while being in bed so much. I am also actively engaging in the hypnobirthing visualization that is aimed at helping the body progress to delivery. That means during contractions do the breathing with visualization instead of continuing what ever I am focused on. Daniel says tomorrow it is spicy food and hot showers etc. Sigrid says we will start long walks! I say lets go dig and see if any of the potatos survived the rain and my neglegt, pick and process apples, work on the house again, etc. Go on walks/outings with kids, farmor etc. Now I am going to go attack packing the hospital bag. :) If I want it to happen tomorrow I better be ready right?
The last month my mother-in-law has been here helping me. She has done so much for us. I worry that she is burning herself out as I sleep 10-12 hours and rest alot. But I was worried about how I was going to manage it all till the baby came. I had a lot of pain at intervalls and exhuastion and at times feeling overwhelmed.
I have a hard time rolling over in bed. It hurts. My lower abdomen and pelvic muscels ache. Sometimes it radiates down my legs. Getting up from bed is a chore, walking down the stairs to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night 1 then 2, then 3, 4 or 5 times is hard and slow. But if I want to get back to sleep I have to do it. Sometimes the contractions are pulsing pain in my lower back. These things have scared me that maybe the baby would come early.
Now that I don't have to worry about that, I want him to come tomorrow. Tonight Daniel's brother and his wife will be arrive. They are awesome and I was impressed to invite her to come and be there for the deliver. Daniel is my birth partner. We work well together. 4 natural deliveries, he takes care of me. That will stay. But she can be there and if needed assist in little ways. I talked with Daniel 1st before I invited her. To make sure he was ok with it and knew there was no way I wanted to replace him and his role. Then we presented it to her. They can't have kids. And like many who cant they long for children. I have seen and felt how hard that is for her. Some people wouldn't want to or maybe wouldn't be up to watching a birth for those same reasons, but I felt I should ask her. She wants to. Very much.
This became interesting in trying to plan when they come. There is no way to know when the baby will come and yet I feel it very important to try to make it possible for them to be here so she can come with to the hospital. This last little while I so just wanted to be done with the pregnancy. I am tired of all the discomfort, pain and not being up to even a short walk because of the increase in these that inevitably follows. My fear of early delivery increased with the increasing intensity.
During the discussion stages of when they should come, we talked of nearer the duedate and near to 37 weeks. They have jobs and responsibilities and can't come here for an indefinate time. So it was quite a puzzle. When they leaned towards a later time I didn't look forward to extended bed rest type life. When we discussed earlier dates I feared that baby wouldn't come before they had to go back. But then with all I was feeling in my body and the pelvic pressure especially I felt that it could easily be the earliest yet. Then they ask, when do you think the baby will come? Before their final decision was finally made of when they would come, I thought, this is too much. I don't know. To much stress. I want her to have the chance to be there. It was an impression from above to invite her. I pray it will bring her a healing that she hasn't been able to find and peace.... but goodness, I can't say when he is coming. If I could say that, most of the previous births would have been a different day or better yet week. (Except maybe Joseph but even he I may have tried to not have it on a Sunday. Rebekah's definately would have been later so we had made it to Hannas wedding. But God knew what was best and instead we missed the wedding and made it home for my mom's funeral which wouldn't have happened had she been later. And that was something that was emotioanlly more important for our family.) Always in thinking about it I think of what is most important. A safe healthy delivery for me and the baby; a spriritual experienc with Daniel there. Then the other things aren't so important. My feelings all go out in prayer. Every weekend after term I would say, ok now... Daniel can be here, but Heavenly Father you know best. Thy will be done.
Those are the same priorities for me now, with the addition that Sigrid can be there and it will be a
kind of spriritual healing for her aching heart. The impression was from God to invite her. But he might have had different intentions then her actual presence? Well I do my best and pray for his will.
Early this week they contemplated moving back their visit to get in just a little more work. I wanted to cry. I have told people to pray if it is right that we can have the baby this week. I am tired of bed and feeling useless and the up and down of worrying that the increased pain one day means an early birth or the more rested days mean the baby won't come till after they go home and I have a few more weeks to go. I am tired of seeing and thinking of things that I want to do or want done but not being able to do most of them. That may not change but I will be able to walk up and down the stairs with out holding my belly with one hand and the rail with the other as I snail pacedly descend. I want to go for a walk but after a round round the garden feel good to sit down.
I was so relieved when they decided to come tonight as planned. But then I imediately start worrying that nothing is happening yet. The reason we want it tomorrow or this weekend is so she can not only be there for the birth but enjoy some of the precious first days of the babys life. If he comes at the end of their stay she misses that in the press to get back home to work for their family economy. I think both parts are important. Whenever they get to adopt (which they are working hard towards) it will likely be a child no younger than 1 1/2 years. That how it ends up hear in Sweden. Those first days when the child is so new are precious. The spirit just came from heaven. Holding the newborn....
But again, it is all in the Lord's hands. I will trust his way. Sooner or later the blessings of his way are made known.
These last two days I have started to try to carefully build up a little of the strength I have lost while being in bed so much. I am also actively engaging in the hypnobirthing visualization that is aimed at helping the body progress to delivery. That means during contractions do the breathing with visualization instead of continuing what ever I am focused on. Daniel says tomorrow it is spicy food and hot showers etc. Sigrid says we will start long walks! I say lets go dig and see if any of the potatos survived the rain and my neglegt, pick and process apples, work on the house again, etc. Go on walks/outings with kids, farmor etc. Now I am going to go attack packing the hospital bag. :) If I want it to happen tomorrow I better be ready right?
