I want to have a place where I can share my thoughts on depression and the silver linings that I am finding in my clouds of depression. I hope that my little thoughts will help someone else, but at least it will be good for me to be journaling this.
I am at the blessed spot of knowing I struggle with depression but not down in its depths at this moment. This is due to medicine, counseling and my faith. I don't think any one of those three alone would have got me to where I am today. So I consider myself blessed that they did come together for me when they did.
I am a believer. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a deep faith. It is the driving force in my life. But from my experience I know that for those who have depression it is often not enough to pray, and read my scriptures. However, the atonement and love of my Saviour have played a most vital role in my climb to where I am now.
I don't feel "free" of depression. I will have to be watchful all my life. I currently am taking medicine (SSR). But I have hope and light in my life. I can fill inspiration and the spirit of the Lord.
I want to write more. But I think this is a good start. This will be a place for me to chronicle my clouds and especially the silver linings that have come into my life.
-orchid
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While in the darkest parts of my own depression, I never would have believed there was a silver lining. If it existed, where was it? But during my upward moments, the days, weeks or months that I felt human again, I can look back and realize how that silver lining kept me going, and in reality, has shaped me into who I am today.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just me who has seen it this way. I attend group counseling once a week. A man in my group was discussing his own struggles with depression. He talked about the months he struggled, not even wanting to get out of bed. 6 months of nothing is what he called it. That was only his worst battle. He's had more. Yet when asked if he wished he'd never dealt with depression, his answer surprised some.
He said he was grateful for the depression he has had in his life. It's shaped him into who he is, a compassionate and caring person. A strong and determined person. A person who struggles, has hard days, but always stands back up again and keeps trying.
This man has blessed my life incredibly already simply by caring. He wouldn't have cared as much if he hadn't struggled with depression. While I would never wish it on anyone, depression has been a blessing in my own life as well. I, like this man, have been shaped by the struggles I have dealt with. I listen more, I care more sincerely, and I judge less. I am closer to who I want to become because of my struggle with depression than because of any other factor in my life outside of my religion.
The clouds may be dark, but the silver lining is always visible when you look at the clouds from a distance.