After reading a few more responses to my families conversations on the time and money it took for degrees that have and haven't happened I started writing a response. But soon realized it fit better here then sending on that.
I am still burned out from school. I love learning, but hate deadlines. I don't deal with pressure and stress well. I don't feel competent in family history and am afraid to even consider trying it. I would much rather use all my creative talents and make a living, but there isn't much living in sewing or building shelves from left over wood and old closet doors, or painting a forest scene on the shelves and walls. Nor crotcheting floor mats and baskets or painting pictures on the thin woody slats that once were the bottom of drawers. It makes our house nicer; and I enjoy it.
I am a stay at home mom and find masses of creative ways to save money and use my drive to create. I always have many more ideas then I could ever do. But I am afraid of committing to things, cause I am afraid of failing.
We are going to start a business. I feel it is right. But I am afraid. I don't want to have anything depend on me. When we did the business in the states. I was the self appointed manager. Daniel was the person who did everything that brought in income (his skills were marketable). But I was overloaded between my super intelligent child and pregnancy. I never did most the things that I knew would contribute to the business being sucessful. For my creative outlet I sewed. But I usually felt guilty sewing, cause I didn't sew things we needed and it meant I wasn't doing things at home that needed to be done. I came to view all of my interests and talents almost as a curse. Why did I have them if I always felt guilty if I pursued them.
I have enjoyed the last couple years of needing to use the creativity and also feeling it was ok to do things that aren't needed. But I am afraid of having a schedule that gets rid of the flexibility that has allowed me to do these things. I take a little time here or there some times I get an evening when Daniel has the kids and I shut myself up with sewing or painting or something else. I love seeing the results. But if we have to take care of a business and be mom and cook..... and the little cleaning I do already do. I don't know.
It seems very overwhelming.
Maybe now isn't the time. But really will I ever think it is the time?
The business idea I am most passionate about is the most impossible to do. Then there are varying degrees of other ones will different levels of investing required. The one that we will probably do feels like it is a blessing that has come our way. But I am scared. I don't see the self control in myself to make it successful. And with all of them the entire financial records and legal side of it is something I do not want to deel with. I am not good enough with routines to do that. I am actually a very anti-routine person. Kids going to school is a challenge for me.
Haha. I have 5 kids. It isn't going to get simpler. I had the kids cause it was right. Not for simplicities sake. I love the kids. I would be devestated if something happened to them. And while at times I have mourned knowing there aren't more for our family, there is a side of me secretly relieved. I am already in over my head. Stopping now, at least it won't be more relationships to worry about, plus the finances and time aspects.
I want to help people. And I can't reach that dream so much just with my creative exersizes here at home. WE want a business that empowers others, and our own family. Something to teach our children with and also help employ others. I can't do that sewing. My number one idea draws on my passions in life and has a lot of room for creativity, we could employ people and our kids would have projects that would get them some income for dreams now and missions. but it is the hardest to do
financially. My next developed idea would take care of giving our kids a chance to work, but it would probably not extend to as many others, but it would use my passion for gardening. It takes some investing as well and some marketing. Mark says do some market research. I haven't gotten to it. So maybe I too am afraid of failing there. Will it just be one more idea that I think about often but will never do anything about?
The last idea is still quite new, but we have friends who are examples will be mentors and may even help with the initial investing needs. I am just scared of the international aspects, exchange rates, Swedish taxes. To really be good at it I need routines not just for the work but at home.
This is a good excersize for me to understand myself and my fears better. But now it is time to go do my personal night routine.
I am still burned out from school. I love learning, but hate deadlines. I don't deal with pressure and stress well. I don't feel competent in family history and am afraid to even consider trying it. I would much rather use all my creative talents and make a living, but there isn't much living in sewing or building shelves from left over wood and old closet doors, or painting a forest scene on the shelves and walls. Nor crotcheting floor mats and baskets or painting pictures on the thin woody slats that once were the bottom of drawers. It makes our house nicer; and I enjoy it.
I am a stay at home mom and find masses of creative ways to save money and use my drive to create. I always have many more ideas then I could ever do. But I am afraid of committing to things, cause I am afraid of failing.
We are going to start a business. I feel it is right. But I am afraid. I don't want to have anything depend on me. When we did the business in the states. I was the self appointed manager. Daniel was the person who did everything that brought in income (his skills were marketable). But I was overloaded between my super intelligent child and pregnancy. I never did most the things that I knew would contribute to the business being sucessful. For my creative outlet I sewed. But I usually felt guilty sewing, cause I didn't sew things we needed and it meant I wasn't doing things at home that needed to be done. I came to view all of my interests and talents almost as a curse. Why did I have them if I always felt guilty if I pursued them.
I have enjoyed the last couple years of needing to use the creativity and also feeling it was ok to do things that aren't needed. But I am afraid of having a schedule that gets rid of the flexibility that has allowed me to do these things. I take a little time here or there some times I get an evening when Daniel has the kids and I shut myself up with sewing or painting or something else. I love seeing the results. But if we have to take care of a business and be mom and cook..... and the little cleaning I do already do. I don't know.
It seems very overwhelming.
Maybe now isn't the time. But really will I ever think it is the time?
The business idea I am most passionate about is the most impossible to do. Then there are varying degrees of other ones will different levels of investing required. The one that we will probably do feels like it is a blessing that has come our way. But I am scared. I don't see the self control in myself to make it successful. And with all of them the entire financial records and legal side of it is something I do not want to deel with. I am not good enough with routines to do that. I am actually a very anti-routine person. Kids going to school is a challenge for me.
Haha. I have 5 kids. It isn't going to get simpler. I had the kids cause it was right. Not for simplicities sake. I love the kids. I would be devestated if something happened to them. And while at times I have mourned knowing there aren't more for our family, there is a side of me secretly relieved. I am already in over my head. Stopping now, at least it won't be more relationships to worry about, plus the finances and time aspects.
I want to help people. And I can't reach that dream so much just with my creative exersizes here at home. WE want a business that empowers others, and our own family. Something to teach our children with and also help employ others. I can't do that sewing. My number one idea draws on my passions in life and has a lot of room for creativity, we could employ people and our kids would have projects that would get them some income for dreams now and missions. but it is the hardest to do
financially. My next developed idea would take care of giving our kids a chance to work, but it would probably not extend to as many others, but it would use my passion for gardening. It takes some investing as well and some marketing. Mark says do some market research. I haven't gotten to it. So maybe I too am afraid of failing there. Will it just be one more idea that I think about often but will never do anything about?
The last idea is still quite new, but we have friends who are examples will be mentors and may even help with the initial investing needs. I am just scared of the international aspects, exchange rates, Swedish taxes. To really be good at it I need routines not just for the work but at home.
This is a good excersize for me to understand myself and my fears better. But now it is time to go do my personal night routine.
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